Corpulent over-the-hill blogger sends his flying monkey over to Weasel Zippers to do battle for him
Its Come to This: We’re Getting Charles Johnson Fanboy Hate Mail…
This just came in via the site email…
It’s come to my attention that you are viciously slandering Charles Johnson of Little Green Footballs. I just wanted to tell you Charles has more integrity in his pinkie then you do in your entire body. Are you jealous of his success or are you just a fucking asshole for the sake of being an asshole? Charles is a great man, he works tirelessly to expose wingnut racism. Charles is too big a man to stoop to your level so I’ve taken the liberty upon myself to do it for him. Go fuck yourself and tell your commenters to do the same.
My response under the fold:
“Jealous of his success,” that supposed to be a joke? His blog is tanking big time. I’ve attached a chart showing his monthly unique hits as of June (domestic only), he’s been around since 2000, we’ve only been in the game since mid-2007, sorry I had to be the one to crush your perception of Chuckles. I know sitting in mommy’s basement commenting all day long on LGF has probably warped your brain beyond repair, but please, seek help, worshipping a washed-up has-been is no way to go through life, son.
P.S. Tell Mantis we said hi…
I would hazard a guess as to KKKillgore Trout.
What a sad little gnat it is running all over the internet and making a fool of itself sticking up for a madman. “It has come to my attention.” How could it, little gadfly? Your lord and master does not permit you to visit sites that are mean to him. Because apparently his emotional development hit the brakes when he was 12. So how did it “come to his attention.” Think on this a minute. You have sent an email that basically paints you as a worshiping fan of someone you have never met and now exposes you to derision and ridicule. This “man of integrity” you say, who has basically thrown everyone who actually DID make his blog a success under the bus. I mean really, cookbooks, pictures and a tip jar? This is success? Jim Robinson at Free Republic raises $82,000 quarterly within weeks. Johnson can’t raise $500 in cookbook sales in three-quarters of a year.
Ooooo….and he’s exposing “right wing racism.” All of Johnson’s racism is in his own mind. Even KKKos, DU and Huffpo are embarrassed by him. So fly away little object, and stop bothering the adults.
Fatso sent the word out to his monkeys “Go fight for mew” sort of like what the Wicked Witch of the West did in the Wizard of Oz.
His Indian Name is no longer “He Who Fights With Girls”; now it’s “He Who Cowers in Corner.”
Fatboy Charlie’s Got the Progs
—apologies to Danny O’Keefe and “Good Time Charlie’s Got the Blues”
Everybody’s gone away
From where the iceweasels bray
Though some sycophants hung around
Nobody likes their noses brown
They changed the tenor of the threads
Updinged you if you were brain-dead
Endorsed progressive fantasies
That’s why it’s not the place to be
Some people have successful blogs
Fatboy Charlie’s got the progs
Fatboy Charlie’s got the progs
Fatboy Charlie’s got the progs
A site once worth a daily look
Now shills Kindles and comic books
And hosts a horde of kids who whine
The most whacked-out progressive line
Some still watch as this sad train-wreck
Obsesses daily on Glenn Beck
But most people have now moved on
Because the site is now a yawn
Some people have successful blogs
Fatboy Charlie’s got the progs
Fatboy Charlie’s got the progs
Some people have successful blogs
Fatboy Charlie’s got the progs
Buzz, you are amazing. Bravo. Have you considered posting it at Weasel Zippers? There are many familiar nics that would love to see your work.
Huzzah, huzzah. That was splendid.
LOVE IT! Sounds like a drinking song!
My word,this sounds like a lovesick schoolgirlie man.My guess is jimmah.
I’m betting Dark Falcon. Probably writes Charlesthecomicbook keeper/ DarkFalcon fanfic late at night. LOL
Hmmm,yes,I could go with DF. Wait,let me reach over here and warm up my correlator tool.CT knows all
If she were not banned I would say Irish Rose
Changed my mind, it is Ludwig.
Hey what ever happened to Walter Newton? or whatever his name was.
Well, this pipsqueak doesn’t sound like a guy to me. That sounds like the old Sharmuta–not that it could be–but definitely a woman.
Alfred E. Neuton is still there.
That’s flying manque.
Very clever! …and funny!
To be honest cj’s success is highly exaggerated.
/actually his numbers has been falling falling falling
Most of the internet rejects him….
Wait a sec… He “works tirelessly”?? Heh heh, now that’s a real rib tickler!
And Chawuz, by “rib” I’m not trying to be sexist.
Tirelessly, maybe—but not spare-tirelessly.
He’s Dunlop’d over.
And he looks like the Michelin Man. With a ponytail.
He wouldn’t know “working tirelessly” if it jumped on his lap, smacked both cheeks, spun him around an bit him in the butt.
WE work tirelessly little gnat. You have have heard of it – it’s called a J-O-B. God knows your head cockroach no longer has a working definition of it.
Oh come on guys, don’t tread on him to hard–you might cap his hub.
HA HA HA HA awesome
One: Learn your damn homophones, idiot – it is “than”, not “then”.
Two: And I quote: “Charles is too big a man…” He sure is, Timmy. He sure is.
LMAO…”Too big a man…” Indeed… Too big to fit into any of his clothes, and too azz-broke to buy any more. So, there he sits, wrapped in un-Mata-Hari’s bathrobe, stuffing Twinkies and boogers down his gullet,angry at the whole world. Yo, Chumples, why don’t you try to do like Homer Simpson and see if you can get fat enough to receive disability?! LOL
You are terrible. I like it.
Hell, he probably thinks “homophone” is that notorious “GoatsE” pic of some schmo with a phone receiver up his keister.
This is similar to the silliness Irish Rose would post here the last few weekd. Remember, even as she walked away, she heaped praise on him for “exposing racism”, and blamed others for her departure. I have a feeling she is trying to prove to Chuckles that she misses him.