Just in case anyone from the cult needs some guidance on the subject of manquespanking, there just happens to be a Wikipedia article, as part of the islamic jurisprudence section of the islamic studies section entitled, quite simply Islam and masturbation.

It is completely forbidden in the Shi’a sect, but for the Sunni schools of jurisprudence (known as Madhaahib – the Hanafi, Shafi’i, Maliki and Hanbali schools of Fiqh) have differing stances on the issue. Some consider itforbidden in all cases. Some see it forbidden in certain cases but permissible in others. Some believe that masturbation may possibly only be done in fear of committing adultery, nor is it preferred (getting married orfasting are suggested as alternatives in the hadith). Another view is that it is Makruh but not expressly forbidden. Scholars of Islam do not approve of masturbation, except in extenuating circumstances. Some scholars state that masturbation is permissible only if one is unmarried or is unable to marry, or to avoid fornication.

I guess that means that if they yodel the Sunni shanana, they’re off the hook, since they can’t get laid in a Tijuana whorehouse with a $800,000 stimulus grant.

However, don’t read the Haidiths:

A narration attributed to Anas ibn Malik reports:“ Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) said, ‘The person who performs Nikah with his hands (i.e. masturbates) is cursed.

Just sain’.