Everyone on this blog likes Chuck. If it weren’t for him, we wouldn’t be here, and since Halloween is just days away, here’s an easy project.

Print out the image below, full size on heavy stock. Don’t worry that the image is distorted; once you wrap it around your face, you’ll look exactly like Charles Johnson.

With an X-Acto blade, trim on the dotted lines and cut out the eyes. Cut the slit at the mouth, and cut underneath the nose. Crease the nose on the black dotted lines.  Get some lizard-green ribbon and thread it through the sides of the mask. Tie the ribbon just tight enough to give you a headache.

That’s all there is to it!

Now you can be a pain in the ass for the rest of the night. Bring a 2-inch diameter wood dowel with you and call it your banning stick. Bid longtime friends “Adieu!” Tell people to “Get off my blog!” Pretend you’re paranoid and accuse other party goers of stalking you while accusing them of being NeoNazis. Misinterpret everything with disgust.

While at the party, grab newspapers and magazines and cut and paste all night long. Walk up to a group of people having a conversation and say something that has nothing to do about the topic, then leave.

Say something outrageous, and once someone agrees with you, then blatantly deny it. If anyone leaves the party early, encourage everyone to badmouth them.

Great fun. The possibilities are endless. Happy Halloween!